Where do you find the strength to keep going?
Recently I've noticed that I've been asked this question often.
I didn't think anything about it, I just answered. "I keep going."
Isn't that what we all do? When faced with a life altering event, don't we just keep going? Like a well oiled machine. We don't have time to stop and pout. We need to discover ways to remedy the problem and find a solution.
Of course at first upon hearing the news we must replace the floor that fell out from beneath us. We must then dry our eyes from the tears. We then wonder if that pain in our hearts will ever heal.
Have you ever felt your heart literally break? I have. It wasn't my imagination. As I laid in bed I felt my heart rip into shreds. It eventually healed. It always does, yet there is always an empty, sad spot. It will eventually be filled in with good memories, but for now memories are just too sad.
We all have our burdens to bear unless you are one of the luckier ones who have never suffered a loss.
If you are please don't pretend you understand how ones who suffer feel.
Don't tell them:
•Things happen for a reason.
•You had so many good years together.
•You will overcome.
•None of us are promised tomorrow.
•Sometimes people come into our lives for a reason.
Duh! Don't you think I already know this. Unless you have been in another's shoes and lost a loved one or you are watching a loved one suffer on a daily basis THINK before you speak.
I had the privilege of listening to the story of a young mom who two years ago lost her 18 month daughter. The baby girls death could have been prevented.
She was rushed to the hospital due to a virus. She had been vomiting and had diarrhea. The medical "professionals" confirmed she was dehydrated. These same medical "professionals" neglected to administer fluids in a timely manner. She had a seizure. She died. Cause of death: Brain Hemorrhage.
Wow. I was in shock. This mother continues to work for the hospital that neglected her daughters care. Her husband refused an autopsy because it wouldn't bring her back. The hospital carried on as usual. There were no complaints made. No one paid for their mistake, except for this beautiful family. I asked her how does she go on? She found God.
Her 5 year old daughter gives her strength. I asked this mom if she suffered from guilt. She said, everyday. My heart ached for her. The pain will never be erased. I told her that guilt will kill her spirit and could cause diseases. She said, "I know." Yet, she goes on. Each and every day. She carries on. In my opinion and from what I witnessed from others is that there is NO greater pain then the loss of a child.
I have the honor of being pen pals with a wonderful woman who I consider a sister more than a friend. She was diagnosed at age 16 with a disease that has left her housebound for close to 33 years. Yes, 33 years. She inspires me. She is my hero. She never complains. No matter how intense her pain is she continues to support others.
How does she keep going? Her love of God.
I recently lost two friends, a husband and wife within 8 months of each other. In Jan. 2012 the husband died of cancer.
I asked my friend, how do you keep going? She said, you just do! I can't give up, I have my kids and grandkids to live for.
She died 8 months later from complications due to cancer. They would have been married 44 years in November 2012.
My husband has been battling cancer since 2008. His body has been to hell and back with tests, medications, scans...he's basically a guinea pig for the medical books. I ask him, "how do you keep going?" He says, "For you, for my Sunshine."
I told him a few times that it's OK if he decided to stop trying, he refuses. I wouldn't blame him a bit. I highly doubt I would have his strength to fight for myself. I fight for others. I feel it's my mission in life.
We all must keep going. We don't have a choice. We must hold our head high and move forward.
